


Sabotage of a Vessel

by KisaraP



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Slash, Wincest - Freeform, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:44:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KisaraP/pseuds/KisaraP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story replaces Season 5 onwards. What if there was a way for Sam to Sabotage his body such that no Angel (or fallen Angel) would be able to use it as a Vessel? What would Sam have to do? And what role will Dean find himself playing in this task? This story has a very original plot not ever seen before! Yes again, really! Contains Wincest!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sabotage of a Vessel

**Sabotage of a Vessel**

 

 **Supernatural** (tv show)

 

 **Sam Winchester** and **Dean Winchester** Story, Slash

 

Disclaimer: Supernatural does not belong to me. This is a fanfiction story that I wrote. I am not making any money from this story.

 

I’d like to give a huge Thank You to my beta, **elegantdalek**! She did an excellent job beta’ing this story and has given me so many excellent suggestions! *Hugs!

 

 **Author’s Note** :

 

Hi Everyone! This story takes place **towards the beginning of Season 5**. Due to certain reasons, for _only_ the first chapter, I am going to have to do a **_recap_** of certain past events. Furthermore, _only_ for the first chapter, am I going to **_quote_ certain important _scenes_ ** from the canon Supernatural tv show.

 

Some recaps are very specific and go back to Season 1, mostly because some fans of my writing have _not_ seen Supernatural before, but wanted to read my story. Therefore, in the recaps, I’ve chosen to be thorough in my explanations so that they can follow along ok. Thank you for understanding! Please Enjoy!

 

**Here is the order of the _Recaps_ , _Quoted Script Lines Scenes_ , and my _Chapter 1 and its Parts_ : **

 

1.     Recap of broad basic events (mostly seasons 1 and 2, a tiny bit of season 3)

 

2.     Recap of recent events (mostly seasons 3 and 4)

 

3.     Recap: Season 5, Episode 1 (including quoted script lines)

 

4.     Recap: Season 5, Episode 2.

 

5.     Recap: Season 5, Episode 3 (including quoted script lines)

 

6.     **(My story begins): Chapter 1: Shocking Hope; Part 1: A Terrible Phone Call.**

 

7.     Recap: Season 5, Episode 4, (including quoted script lines); **Chapter 1: Shocking Hope; Part 2: Transported 5 Years into the Future.**

 

8.     **(My story continues): Chapter 1: Shocking Hope; Part 3: Hidden Truth. [No more recaps after this point]**.

 

9.     **Chapter 1 : Shocking Hope; Part 4: Rules. **

 

 

If you know the Supernatural tv series well enough, please feel free to scroll quickly through these recaps and quoted scenes to get to the parts of my story that appear _after_ the recaps and _between_ the quoted script lines scenes.

 

If you know the series well, you can start from **Chapter 1: Shocking Hope; Part 1: A Terrible Phone Call.** This Chapter 1, Part 1, is listed as #6 in the above list.

 

**Chapter 1 consists of 4 different parts. Once I get to Chapter 2, there will be _no_ more recaps and _no_ more full quoted scenes. Also, once I get to Chapter 2, there will _not_ be any different ‘Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, etc). **

 

Oh, and also, please keep in mind that some of the recaps are _my interpretation_ of the events that I see and hear on tv! Some of these recaps are from episodes that I haven’t seen in a while, so I did my best to be factually accurate from what I _remember_. Furthermore, I _limited_ my _recaps_ to things I thought could be _relevant_ in _my story_ itself. However, please also keep in mind that a lot of things are _inferences_ rather than _given facts_.

 

Ok, that all being said. Please enjoy!

 

 

 

\---------

 

**Recap of broad basic events : **

 

\- **Dean Winchester** and **Sam Winchester** are **brothers**. Dean is 4 years older than Sam. The date is 2009 when Season 5 begins (and when my story starts). 

 

\- Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Hunters. They Hunt and kill bad Supernatural Creatures and Spirits that actively harm people.

 

\- Dean and Sam’s biological father, John Winchester, was also a Hunter, and taught them how to be Hunters too.

 

\- Dean and Sam’s Mother, Mary, also died a long time ago, back when Sammy was just a 6 month old baby. Mary died in a supernatural fire caused by **a yellow-eyed-demon named Azazel**. Right before this demon killed Mary, **Azazel cut himself (cut the body of the person he was possessing), and purposely dripped ‘Demon Blood’ into baby Sammy’s mouth**. We later find out that this Demon Blood makes **human children who have ingested [high ranked]** **Demon Blood** **have** **certain psychic, telekinetic, and supernatural powers** as they grow older. **Sammy** had/has some of these powers.

 

-After Mary died, John Winchester (Mary’s husband; Dean and Sam’s Dad) tried to find the thing (the demon, Azazel) that killed Mary and ended up raising his sons on the road. Sam hates all the moving around and eventually leaves his father and Dean to go to college, but Sam gets dragged back in to Hunting by Dean when John goes missing.

 

\- By Season 5 (the time when my story starts), John is dead (John ends up selling his Soul to Azazel to save Dean’s life, and hours later, after making sure that Dean is ok, John dies when Azazel takes his Soul (his Soul is his Consciousness basically)). 

 

\- About a year after John dies, during the course of Sam and Dean’s fight against Azazel and his various other followers/minion/soldiers, Sam is mortally wounded and dies.

 

\- **In exchange for bringing Sam back to life** , **Dean agrees to sell his Soul to a supposed ‘Crossroads-Demon’.** This Crossroads Demon actually works for **Lilith, thus it is Lilith who owns Dean’s ‘Contract’** (not the little employee crossroads-demon).

 

\- **Lilith** is the **first demon created by the supposedly fallen Arch-Angel, Lucifer**. Dean only has 1 year to live according to the Contract at which time Lilith comes back to claim his Soul.

 

\- Sammy is brought back to life, in perfect health the moment Dean makes the Contract with the demon stating that Dean agrees to sell his Soul in order to save Sam’s life.

 

\- Sam and Dean eventually manage to kill Azazel.

 

\- After trying unsuccessfully to find a way to save his (Dean’s) Soul from being taken after 1 year is up, **Lilith successfully collects Dean’s Soul, and Dean ends up burning in Hell** for what feels like many **decades in Hell (time is different in Hell vs Earth** ; a _year_ on Earth seems like _decades_ in Hell).

 

\-------------

 

**Recap of recent events : **

 

 **-** During Dean’s time in Hell, **Sammy** , who remained alive and on Earth, has **gotten closer to a demon named Ruby**. Ruby initially tells Sam that she can help him get **revenge against Lilith** for Dean’s _death_ (when Lilith took Dean’s Soul).

 

\- **Later, Ruby supposedly tells Sam that she wants to _prevent_ Lilith from breaking the 66 Seals that would result in Lucifer being freed from his prison/cage. (“Breaking 66 _Seals_ ” basically means an act or acts that would cause 66 certain _Events_ to occur. Only 66 Seals/Events need to occur out of a total of 666 _possible_ Seals/Events). Lucifer being freed from his prison/cage would result in the beginning of the Apocalypse. Thus, Ruby says she wants to  prevent the Apocalypse from starting.**

 

\- Ruby has been encouraging and actually letting Sam drink her Demon Blood, which strengthens Sam’s already present psychic, telekinetic, and supernatural powers that Sam has as a result of being force-fed Azazel’s Demon Blood when Sammy was just a 6 month old baby.

 

\- Ruby and Sam discover that when Sam ingests enough of Ruby’s Demon Blood, that **Sam is able to exorcise** **and then kill demons who are possessing people** , typically without any harm being done to the human that the demon is possessing at the time of their exorcism.

 

\- Ruby and Sam’s goal is for Sammy to use his powers to kill Lilith to stop her from continuing to break all 66 Seals.

 

\- **Dean is rescued from Hell** by an **Angel named Castiel**.

 

\- Castiel’s task seems to be protecting Dean from harm, _and_ helping to prevent Lilith from breaking 66 Seals/Events.

 

\- Tragically, by the time Castiel rescues Dean, **Dean** has already given into the extreme long-term torture the demons in Hell inflicted on him, and **agreed to** **torture other souls in exchange for ending his own constant torture** in Hell. **The moment Dean began torturing other souls** , **Dean broke the _first_ of 66 Seals** , which then allows other Seals to be broken as well. (Apparently, the first Seal/Event must have occurred first before any other Seal/Event could be broken).

 

\- **Dean is brought back to Earth** after being saved by Castiel. When Dean then **discovers that Sam has been drinking Demon Blood** and has therefore been increasing his powers and trusting a demon (Ruby), **Dean immediately disapproves of Sam’s choice to do so and warns Sammy to stop** , saying that demons are not trustworthy.

 

\- Tragically, **Sammy refuses to listen to Dean** and eventually **Sam chooses to go with Ruby to kill Lilith without Dean**.

 

\- Although emotionally torn up that his brother (Sam) chose a demon over him, Dean tries to go after Sam to protect him from whatever plot he is sure Ruby is trying to bring about.

 

\- **Before Dean can get to Sam** , **Sam has already confronted Lilith, and exorcised and killed her**. By this time, apparently, 65 Seals have already been broken.

 

\- However, instead of ‘Lilith’s death’ stopping the occurrence of the Apocalypse, **Lilith’s death _was_ the _last_ 66 th Seal** and **thus** **frees Lucifer from his cage,** and **thus _starts_ the Apocalypse (which was Ruby’s secret plan all along).**

 

\- Dean gets to Sam’s location too late to stop Lucifer’s cage from opening. However, once together, Sam and Dean **kill Ruby the demon.**

 

\---------------

 

**[Recap: Season 5, Episode 1] : **

 

\- As the cage is opening, **Sam and Dean are somehow transported out of the chapel/church** that is the exit to L’s cage, and onto an airplane. (Possible Divine intervention would explain this).

 

\- Afterward, **Sam realizes he’s _not_ suffering from the urge to drink Demon Blood**. (Previously, by drinking Demon Blood, Sam had _usually_ been able to exorcise and kill a demon without harming the human that that demon was possessing. Tragically, Sam and Dean discovered that Sammy had become addicted to drinking Demon Blood, and thus at times, Sammy suffered severe supernatural painful withdrawal symptoms when he didn’t drink Demon Blood often enough). Now, it _seems_ that the Demon Blood has all been purged from Sam’s body and he no longer suffers withdrawal symptoms.

 

-  **Chuck is a Prophet,** who initially does not realize he is a prophet. Chuck **records his prophecies in his** **Supernatural Book Series**. The Supernatural book series is a _supposedly_ _fictional_ series that Chuck created where he writes down Sam and Dean’s adventures, but those stories are actually _real_ , unknown so far to all his fans!

 

\- Chuck knows that he’s being watched by a majority group of Angels who (shockingly enough) are in favor of the Apocalypse occurring, and who are in favor of the Arch-Angel Michael fighting the (former) Arch-Angel Lucifer. For some reason, it seems that G-d has disappeared or gone missing for quite some time. Also, it appears that prior to G-d’s disappearance, that G-d had not really left any instructions to all his Angels! In G-d’s absence, the majority of Angels have grown tired of remaining at their posts and watching as Humanity continues to sin and suffer, etc. Thus, **the majority of Angels want the Apocalypse to occur** and **want Michael to fight Lucifer, and hopefully put an end to the sins and suffering that plagues Earth** and Humanity, one way or another. Of course, the majority of Angels hope that the Arch-Angel, Michael, wins the battle.

 

\- Chuck (who is a Human prophet), of course, is _not_ in favor of the Apocalypse occurring and does _not_ want a war to break out that could result in the destruction of humanity and the Earth. Chuck also knows that Sam and Dean share his sentiments/feelings/goals. **Chuck thus secretly asks Becky (one of Chuck’s Supernatural Book Series super fans) to deliver an important message about a prophecy** he has just [mentally] received, **to Sam and Dean**.

 

\- **Becky finds Sam and Dean. Becky then tells Sam and Dean that the Angels lost ‘the Michael Sword’** and tells them where it is, in the form of a riddle. **The ‘Michael Sword’ is what defeated Lucifer the first time, resulting in Lucifer’s imprisonment in his cage.**

 

\- **Bobby, also a Hunter,** joins Sam and Dean in trying to figure out the riddle. Bobby is basically **Sam and Dean’s unofficial surrogate father-figure** , after their real father, John Winchester, died. Bobby at this time, **unknown to Sam and Dean, is _possessed_ by a demon**.

 

\- _Possessed ‘Bobby’_ puts on an act, and pretends to sort of ‘disown’ Sam, when he (possessed Bobby) finds out that Sam is the one who broke the last 66 th Seal, and thus consequently started the Apocalypse.

 

\- Saddened but understandingly, Sam leaves Bobby and Dean alone in the motel room, and Sam goes to a nearby church to do his own research about where they might be able to find the Michael Sword.

 

\- As soon as Dean figures out that the riddle is where his father, John Winchester, had a storage locker, _possessed Bobby_ reveals himself to actually be a Demon possessing Bobby’s body. During this time, **Meg** the demon among other demons, also show up. In the ensuing fight, _real Bobby_ mentally fights against the demon who is possessing him when the demon possessing him tries to kill Dean. Instead, **Bobby manages to stab himself in the stomach, killing the demon inside of him**. Sam returns, and then Sam and Dean successfully fight off the other demons.

 

\- Sam and Dean take Bobby to the hospital to get his severe self-inflicted stab wound treated.

 

\- Sam and Dean leave Bobby at the hospital so Sam and Dean can rush to their father’s storage locker to get to the Michael Sword before Meg the demon (and other demons) can get there.

 

\- When Sam and Dean arrive at the storage locker, they find the demons dead, and instead they find **Zachariah (one of the somewhat high-ranking Angels)** there, along with a few other Angels.

 

\- The **following conversation ensues between Zachariah (Zach) and Dean**. Of course, Sam and a group of Zachariah’s Angels are here too observing this conversation.

 

 **[Recap: Season 5, Episode 1, (quoted script lines)]** :

 

Zachariah (Zach or Z): “We may have ‘ _planted’_ that particular prophecy, but it was true! We _did_ lose the ‘ _Michael sword’_ – until now, _you_ just hand-delivered _it_ to us.”

 

Dean (D): “We don’t have _anything_.” (Dean is 100% clueless as to what Zach is talking about).

 

Zach: “It’s _you_ , chucklehead. _You’re_ the ‘Michael Sword’.” (Zach is speaking to Dean when he says this) “…You’re just a Human, Dean, and not much of one.”

 

Dean: “What’d you mean I’m his ‘Sword’?”

 

Zach: “You’re Michael’s ‘weapon’, or rather, you’re his ‘receptacle’.”

 

Dean: “…I’m a ‘vessel’?”

 

Zach: “You’re _thee_ vessel - Michael’s Vessel.”

 

Dean: “How… _Why_ me?”

 

Zach: “Cuz you’re chosen, Dean.”

 

Dean: “Oh yeah. Life as an _angel condom_. …I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

 

Zach: “Joking… always joking.” (Zach is saying that _Dean_ is the one who is _joking_. Zach is _not_ saying that he (Zach) is joking about what has been said).  

 

\---

 

\- So basically, Zach reveals that the kinda half-true prophecy that Chuck ‘received/envisioned’ was actually referring to _Dean_ _being_ the ‘Michael Sword’.

 

\- I **t’s clarified between Dean and Zach that Dean is the Arch-Angel Michael’s Vessel. It’s also clarified that Dean has to actually say ‘Yes’ to Michael using his body as a Vessel** , in order for Michael to actually be able to use Dean as a Vessel (in essence, Dean would be possessed by Michael if Dean said ‘Yes’).

 

\- **Dean basically tells Zach that he refuses** to be Michael’s Vessel (“Life as an angel condom… I’ll pass…”)

 

\- **Zach proceeds to torture Dean and Sam to try to force Dean to say ‘Yes’** to being Michael’s Vessel.

 

\- **Castiel appears** in the storage locker with Sam and Dean and the other angels. **Again, Castiel is a somewhat middle-ranked Angel who rescued Dean’s Soul (basically rescued Dean Himself) from Hell. Remember, Dean had sold his Soul in order to save Sam’s life. Castiel has been helping to protect and aid Dean and Sam in preventing the Apocalypse from occurring by preventing the 66 Seals from breaking).**

 

 **-** Castiel kills the other angels but leaves Zach alive. Castiel basically says that he thinks that he’s still alive because G-d brought him back to life. (In the last season for some reason, Castiel had been killed by an Arch-Angel that was protecting Chuck the prophet). Castiel then threatens Zach and orders Zach to ‘fix’ Sam and Dean and then to leave. Zach obeys, fixes them, and leaves.

 

\- **[ Arguable Interpretation of recapped events]:** Before Castiel appeared, **Castiel _overheard_ Zachariah telling Dean that Dean is Michael’s Vessel. As a result of this, Castiel chooses to carve “Enochian Sigils” into Dean’s and Sam’s ribs such that Zachariah and all other Angels in existence, including Lucifer and even Castiel himself, will not be able to find Dean and Sam**. The reason that Castiel carves the Sigils into Sam’s ribs too, is because Dean and Sam are always together, and if Sam was able to be found by the angels, then the angels could just follow Sam to find Dean. Therefore, to prevent Dean from being found by the Angels, Castiel had to carve the Sigils into Sam’s ribs too. 

 

\- **[ Arguable Interpretation of recapped events]**: The reasons that Castiel doesn’t want Dean to be found by Zach and the other angels are probably because: 1) Castiel considers Dean to be a friend/family and doesn’t want Zach or any other angel to hurt Dean, which is almost inevitable if Michael were to use Dean as a Vessel, due to how powerful Michael is, 2) Castiel doesn’t want there to be an Apocalypse, and thus tries to prevent both Michael and Lucifer from getting Vessels in the first place, so that neither one will be able to fight, 3) Other/etc.

 

\- During this time, **Lucifer (L)** makes a man, **Nick** , suffer hallucinations about his dead wife and dead baby, in an effort to get Nick to say ‘Yes’ to being L’s temporary Vessel. **Nick _apparently_ says ‘Yes’, because L is next shown as being inside of Nick (ie shown as possessing Nick)**.

 

\-----------------

 

**[Recap: Season 5, Episode 2] : **

 

\- Sam and Dean travel to a town that is supposedly infested with Demons, but it turns out that there are no demons there at all! Instead, **one** of the **four** **Horsemen, War** , is there. **(The Horsemen will supposedly all appear during the course of the Apocalypse).**

 

\- **The Horseman, War, is making all the people hallucinate and think that they’re seeing demons, when in fact they are just seeing other regular people**. It appears that War is wearing a Ring on his finger and that this Ring is the source of his power/existence to make people hallucinate, etc. **Sam and Dean eventually figure this out, and manage to cut off War’s ring from his finger**. In doing so, they defeat War because the Ring also somehow maintains War’s power/existence.

 

\- At the end of the episode, **Sam basically tells Dean** that he thinks they **should** **separate** (for a variety of reasons). Dean quickly agrees [much to Sam’s kinda disappointment]. Sam gets a ride from one of the local townspeople, and so Sam and Dean part ways.

 

\------------------

 

 **[Recap: Season 5, Episode 3, (quoted script lines)]** :

 

\- Sam decides to give up Hunting and live a normal life. He finds a job in a bar/restaurant.

 

\- Dean continues to Hunt, away from Sam.

 

\- **While apart, Lucifer appears to Sam in Sam’s motel room** (either in a Dream or as a Hallucination; it’s a bit unclear, but I believe it is a **Hallucination** ). **The following conversation** between Sam and Lucifer occurs ( **quoting** from the canon of this episode):

 

 **Lucifer (L)** : “You are a hard one to find - harder than most humans. I don’t suppose you’d tell me where you are?”

 

 **Sam (S)** : “What do you want with me?”

 

L: “Thanks to you, I walk the earth. I want to give you a gift. I want to give you everything.”

 

S: “I don’t want _anything_ from you.”

 

L: “I’m so sorry Sam, but Nick here is just an improvisation - Plan B. He can hardly contain me without spontaneously combusting.”

 

S: “What’re you talking about?”

 

L: “Why do you think you were in that chapel? You’re the one Sam. You’re my Vessel, my _true_ Vessel.”

 

S: “…No.”

 

L: “Yes.” (L is nodding).

 

S: “ _No_. That’ll never happen.”

 

L: “I’m sorry, but it will. I _will_ find you, and when I do. You _will_ let me in. I’m sure of it.”

 

S: “You need my consent.”

 

L: “Of course, I’m an angel.”

 

S: “I’ll _kill_ myself before letting you in.” 

 

L: “Then I’ll just bring you back. …Sam, my heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders, what you’ve done, what you still have to do, it is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way… but there isn’t. …I will never lie to you. I will never trick you, but you _will_ say yes to me.”

 

S: “You’re _wrong_.”

 

L: “I’m not wrong. I think I know you better than you know yourself.”

 

S: “…Why me?”

 

L: “Because it had to be you Sam. It always had to be you.”

 

**[Season 5, Episode 3 ends].**

 

**[Lucifer then disappears (or ends the Hallucination).]**

 

**[My story begins right after this encounter (ie after Lucifer disappears). Thus at the moment my story beings, Sam is alone in his motel room].**

 

**\---------------**

 

********

 

**Sabotage of a Vessel:**

 

**Chapter 1 : Shocking Hope**

 

**Part 1 : A Terrible Phone Call**

 

The moment that Lucifer disappeared from Sam’s motel room, Sam, shaking, sweating, and hyperventilating, reached for his cellphone, which he had left on the bedside’s nightstand. After hitting several incorrect buttons due to his shaky hands, he finally managed to click on Dean’s number. Even though Sam and Dean had separated and still had some hard feelings over what happened with Ruby and Lilith, Sam _prayed_ that Dean would answer his phone-call. Sam would have been pacing around the room if his knees didn’t feel like they would give out under the sheer magnitude of the physiological distress he was currently under. Lucifer himself just told Sam that Sam was destined to be Lucifer’s Vessel, and that no matter what, Lucifer would make sure that Sam said ‘Yes’.

 

Sam was beyond terrified, to such an extent that he had to take deep, shallow breaths to make sure he didn’t vomit up stomach acid. Between each ringtone, Sam’s mind replayed each piece of torture that Zachariah had done to both him and Dean in an effort to force Dean to say ‘Yes’ to being Michael’s Vessel: Ring 1: Zachariah angelically/supernaturally shot him (Sam); Ring 2: Zachariah threatened that Bobby would never walk again; Ring 3: Zachariah gave Dean Stage IV stomach cancer; Ring 4: Zachariah took away his (Sam’s) lungs.

 

By this time, Sam felt tears gather in his eyes – a clearly delayed response from being shocked by Lucifer’s sudden appearance and by an even more shocking revelation. If Zachariah was supposedly one of the Angels on the ‘good side of Heaven’, and had done all of those terrible things to them in order to try and get Dean to say ‘Yes’ to being Michael’s Vessel, Sam couldn’t imagine what Lucifer would do to him and those he loved in order to force Sam to say ‘Yes’ to being Lucifer’s Vessel.

 

“Uhh… Hello?” Sam heard Dean say in a sleepy voice when he finally answered his phone.

 

Dean then looked over at the motel’s alarm clock and saw it was only 4:00am. Who the heck was calling him at this time? He hadn’t even bothered looking at his phone’s screen to see who was calling. It was probably Castiel, _again_ , with no regard for his Human needs to _sleep_! Earlier, he had told the angel exactly where he was (due to the Enochian Sigils cloaking his location), and told Cas that after a few hours of sleep, Cas could zap him to wherever the angel was to discuss whatever he wanted.

 

“D-Dean?” Sam said brokenly as several tears cascaded down his eyes. Sam sniffed, trying to clear his throat so he could tell Dean what had just happened - he was sure he sounded like crap over the phoneline.

 

Dean jolted upright, pushing off the covers of his motel bed the moment he realized it was Sammy calling him and heard the pain-filled tone of Sam’s voice. His first instinct told him that his little brother Sammy was in trouble, and he had to get to where he was, _now_. At the same time he rose, Dean found himself instinctively taking full charge of the situation, “What happened? Where are you?”

 

“…I… I… D-Dean… I…” Sammy had trouble getting together all his thoughts. You would think it would be easy to tell Dean what had just happened, but apparently the stress was frying all of his brain cells. Sam took a deep breath and tried again, “It’s… L-Lucifer… he… Dean… he said… he said th-that… I… that I’m… h-his… V-Vessel…” At the last part, Sam found himself breaking out into full sobs. He vaguely tried to remember the last time he had cried like this. Maybe not since his girlfriend Jessica had died right in front of him - _no_ , when Dean had lost his soul and died, that was it. Anyway, even if Dean made fun of him for his present lack of Machoness, Sam didn’t care. He didn’t know who else to turn to – he felt he would just have a full-on breakdown and die if he wasn’t able to be in the comfort of his big brother’s presence soon. Despite the fights they had, the jabs, and ribbing, Dean had always done his best to protect him, even going so far as to sell his soul to save Sam’s life. Not that Sam had ever wanted Dean to do such a thing – he had tried to trade places with Dean, but the demons refused Sam’s offer.

 

At first, Dean’s mind was entirely unable to comprehend what Sammy had just told him. It just could not possibly be true. “…Y-You’re… h-his— He… wh-what?” Dean felt his insides turn to ice and forgot to breathe. “… No! … _Damnit_! _Shit! …Fuck!_ _No_ , that’s… I’m _never_ gonna let _th-that_ happen, Sammy!” This was immediately followed by another thought, making Dean feel as if the room was spinning – it was a good thing he had already been sitting down to put on his shoes. “He’s _there_ with you now?! Where are you, Sammy?! I swear, if he h-hurts you, I swear… I… I’ll—” Dean shouted into his phone, shoving his feet in his shoes, not even caring they weren’t on right.

 

“N-No… He… I think it was just a… a hallucination, or something… a vision of him being here. He… wanted me to tell him where I was, but… I’m not… stupid,” Sammy said, with a slight bark of laugher at the end. At least the good news was that Lucifer hadn’t found him… yet.

 

“...Ok… y-yeah… ok, that’s… that’s good. Sammy… Sammy, tell me which state you’re in right now. Don’t tell me exactly where you are, just in case someone is listening,” Dean instructed, as he threw all his belongings in his bag, and double checking to make sure his gun was secure in his waistband as he turned to the door.

 

As soon as Sam told him he was in the north-western part of Oklahoma, Dean spoke. “Ok, I’m in north-western Missouri. So, we’ll meet halfway in Kansas. Call me when you get sorta close to the middle of the state, not exactly the middle, but close. I don’t want to risk Lucifer or any demons, or angels, finding you before I can get to you. Ok? It’s gonna be ok Sammy, you’ll see. We’ll figure this out.”

 

Given the situation, it might be ridiculous, but Sam found that Dean’s insistence that everything would be ok and that Dean would make it better, instantly helped to begin calming his turbulent thoughts, making it so he didn’t feel like he was about to throw-up his insides. Even in spite of all their issues, Sam felt himself choke up emotionally upon hearing Dean’s assurances that he would be with him to prevent such a terrible fate from becoming a reality. “… I… y-yeah… yeah, ok. Th-Thanks, Dean,” Sammy said as he brushed an arm across his face, wiping away all the tears that had gathered there.

 

“O’course, Sammy. I’ll be there real soon… Don’t you dare stop for any reason. Don’t talk to anyone. The only reason to stop is to get more gas, and that’s it! D’you hear me, Sammy?” Dean instructed firmly, still in his protective-big-brother-on-a-mission mode. Getting everything together, Dean made his way towards the door.

 

“Got it, Dean. See you soon,” Sam confirmed as he found it within himself to stand up to start throwing his things together, the desperate need to be with his brother welling up within him.

 

The moment Dean heard Sam end the call, Dean was about to end his call, but before he could push the ‘End’ button, he was surrounded by a bright light.

 

\----------------

 

**Chapter 1: Shocking Hope**

 

**Part 2: Transported 5 Years into the Future:**

 

**[Recap: Season 5, Episode 4] : **

 

[If you recall, in the canon, in **Season 5 Episode 4** , Zachariah sends Dean into the future to show Dean what the future would be like if Dean continues to not say ‘Yes’ to being Michael’s Vessel. (Zach finds out Dean’s location after being told Dean’s location by a Human who had been preaching the word of G-d on the street near the motel that Dean was staying at. Remember at this point, the angels can’t detect where Sam and Dean are because of the Enochian Sigils that Castiel carved into Dean’s and Sam’s ribs).

 

To recap, the **Younger Dean from 2009** meets the **Older Dean from 2014** (5 years in the future). Younger Dean also discovers that the **Croatoan Virus** has spread throughout most of the planet and it is a disaster. The ‘ **Croatoan Virus** ’ is spread through bodily fluids, and makes the infected person completely irrational and extremely violent. The **following scenes are quoted** from the canon of Season 5, Episode 4]:

 

[ **Older Dean (OD)** tells **Younger Dean (YD)** , that they’re going on a mission with a few other Hunters to kill the devil with **The Colt** that OD and his team just recovered from a group of demons. ‘ **The Colt** ’ is a weapon (a gun) that was created by a now-long-dead Hunter that is supposedly capable of killing any demon and any supernatural creature that gets shot by one of its special bullets]:

 

 **OD:** “You’re coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother.”

 

 **YD** : “Sam? I thought [you had said before, that] he was dead.”

 

OD: “Sam didn’t _die_ in Detroit, he said ‘Yes’.”

 

YD: “Wait, you mean?”

 

OD: “Yes, the big ‘Yes’ to the Devil. Lucifer’s wearing him to the prom.”

 

YD: “Why would he do that?”

 

OD: “I wish I knew, but now we don’t have a choice. It’s in him, and it’s not getting out. We’ve gotta kill him, Dean. And you need to see it. The whole damn thing, how bad it gets, so you can do it different. Zach said he was going to bring you back right? To 09?”

 

YD: “Yeah.”

 

OD: “When you get back home, you say ‘Yes’. You hear me? You say ‘Yes’ to Michael.”

 

YD: “That’s crazy! If I let him in, then Michael fights the devil. The battle’s going to torch half the planet.”

 

OD: “Look around you man! Half the planet is better than no planet. Which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I’d say ‘Yes’ in a heartbeat.”

 

YD: “So, then why don’t you?”

 

OD: “I’ve tried! I’ve shouted ‘Yes’ ‘till I was blue in the face. The angels aren’t listening! They just gave up, left.”

 

YD: “There’s gotta be another way.”

 

OD: “Yeah that’s what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I’d lose. But I was wrong. Dean, I was wrong. I’m begging you, say ‘Yes’.  – But you won’t, cuz I didn’t, cuz that’s just not us, now is it?”

 

\--

 

[Once OD and YD arrive just outside the location that Lucifer is at (where Lucifer is using Sam’s body as his Vessel), OD says the place should be crawling with Croats, which means that this is a trap. (‘ **Croats** ’ are what people are called who are infected with the Croatoan Virus). OD intends to use their other Hunter companions as decoys, knowing they’ll likely die, while OD and YD go through the back to try to kill the devil. YD refuses, so OD punches YD, which causes YD to fall unconscious. When YD regains consciousness, YD runs around to the back of the building, only to see Sam’s body that is possessed by Lucifer, and OD on the ground. **Lucifer in Sam’s body ( L/S)** then breaks OD’s neck, which kills OD. **L/S** then notices YD.]

 

The following is again, quoted from the canon]:

 

 

 

 **Lucifer in Sam’s body (L/S)** : “You’ve come a long way to see this, haven’t you?”

 

 **Younger Dean (YD)** : “Well go ahead, kill me.”

 

L/S: “Kill you? Don’t you think that’d be a little redundant? I’m sorry, it must be painful, speaking to me in this shape, but it had to be your brother. It had to be. You don’t have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I’m going to do?”

 

D: “I don’t know, maybe deep-fry the planet.”

 

L/S: “Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing - beautiful in a trillion different ways, the last perfect handiwork of G-d. Ever hear the story of how I fell from grace? …Do you know why G-d cast me down? Cuz I loved him, more than anything, and then G-d created… you, the little hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you, to love you more than him. And I said, Father, I can’t - these Human Beings are flawed, murderous. And for that, G-d had Michael cast me into Hell. Now tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? Look what 6 million of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it?”

 

D: “You’re not fooling anyone, this sympathy for the devil crap. …You’re the same brand of cockroach… an ugly, evil, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.”

 

L/S: “I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We’ll meet again soon.”

 

D: “…You better kill me now.”

 

L/S: “Pardon?”

 

D: “You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you, and I won’t stop.”

 

L/S: “I know you won’t, I know you won’t say ‘Yes’ to Michael either. And I know you won’t kill Sam. No matter what, you’ll always end up here. Whatever details you’ll alter, we will always end up, here. I win. So I win.”

 

D: “You’re wrong.” (Dean’s crying as he says this).

 

L/S: “See you in 5 years, Dean.”

 

[Lucifer in Sam’s body then disappears.]

 

 

 

[Zachariah shows up behind Dean and then zaps Dean back to 2009.]

 

 **Zachariah (Z)** : “Dean enough, you saw it right? You saw what happens. You’re the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Just say ‘yes’.”

 

D: “How do I know this isn’t just one of your tricks?”

 

Z: “The time for tricks is over. Say ‘yes’ to Michael, and we can strike, before the devil gets to Sam, before billions die.”

 

D: “…Nah.”

 

Z: “Nah?”

 

[At this point, Zach freaks out that Dean is still refusing to say ‘Yes’ to being Michael’s Vessel. Zach is about to get violent with Dean, but lucky for Dean, Castiel chooses this exact time to zap Dean to Cas’s location so they can talk about The Colt (the gun that kills supernatural creatures), which Castiel believes hasn’t been destroyed by the demons who he believes currently possess the weapon].

 

 

 

\---------------

 

****

 

**Chapter 1: Shocking Hope**

 

**Part 3: Hidden Truth**

 

[I’m picking up my story where Castiel has just Zapped Dean to Cas’s Location]

 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted once Dean appeared before him.

 

“Cas? Cas! Thank G-d! I think Zach was just about to turn me inside-out! … Or worse… Probably worse… Whatever! We have to get to Sammy!” Dean exclaimed.

 

“…Why? Did something unfortunate occur recently?” Castiel asked with a furrowed brow.

 

“…Yes… S-Sammy… he’s— Sammy is… L-Lucifer’s Vessel,” Dean managed to choke out.

 

Dean then briefly told Cas about his phone conversation with Sam. When Dean finished, he waited for Castiel to say something useful.

 

“Dean, I… I… don’t know… what to say. I’m… so sorry. I promise you, I had no idea. If I had, I would have told—” Castiel partially stuttered out, shocked by hearing the news that Lucifer was set on using (and was also supposedly _destined_ to use) Sam Winchester as his Vessel.

 

“I… yeah… thanks, Cas. I just… G-d, I don’t know… what to do. I told him, we’d figure out how to stop _that_ from happening. And I swear, I won’t let _that_ happen. I will _die_ before I let that happen. Heck, I’d even sell my soul, again, to prevent that from happening to him!” Dean proclaimed firmly.

 

Castiel found himself nodding. “Understood. I too would be willing to sacrifice much to protect Sam. The Enochian Sigils I carved into both his and your ribs should continue to shield him from being detected by Lucifer and all other angels, myself included. But, if there is anything else I can do…” Castiel said, trailing off and waiting for Dean to ask anything of him that would help Sam.

 

Castiel had been very skeptical and cautious of Sam when he had first met him. This was mostly because Castiel knew of Sam’s _choice_ to ingest Demon Blood (mostly Ruby’s blood), in order to increase the Demon Powers that Azazel had bestowed upon Sam when Azazel force-fed his Demon Blood to baby Sammy. However, as time had progressed, it was obvious that Sam was a good person, despite continuing to consume demon blood and continuing to use his semi-demonic-psychic-powers etc. Even though Castiel was supposed to remain emotionally detached from humans and their affairs in his missions as an Angel, Castiel inevitably found himself becoming emotionally attached not just to Dean, but to Sam as well.

 

Now, Castiel would do anything to prevent Dean and Sam from becoming Vessels for any high-ranking Angel. Castiel did not have ‘delusions of grandeur’ - he knew he himself wasn’t a high-ranking Angel, which was a good thing, because his own Vessel, Jimmy, would not be harmed by his possession of the man’s body. However, if one of the high-ranking Angels, Arch-Angels in fact, such as Michael or Lucifer, took possession of a Human body, that Human’s body and mind would inevitably suffer severe damage, if not outright destruction.

 

“Yes! Yes, there is something you can do, Cas! Take me to where Sam is now! I’ll call him to get his exact location!” Dean replied, a huge feeling of relief at having asked for Castiel’s help.

 

Once Dean called Sam and found out where he was, Cas zapped them to Sam’s location. Apparently Cas had good aim – Dean got zapped right into the front passenger seat of Sam’s [stolen] car, while Cas zapped himself into the backseat. Even though Sam should have been expecting it, he still jerked the wheel in surprise, sending them dangerously far onto the road’s right shoulder before Sam was able to safely hit the brakes.

 

To Dean’s credit, he didn’t even make fun of Sammy’s driving skills. He was still far too freaked out about the news that Sammy was Lucifer’s chosen Vessel. As such, Dean couldn’t possibly feel embarrassed about what happened the moment _after_ his younger brother brought the car to a screeching halt.

 

“Shit, Sammy!” Dean gasped out as he leaned over the center console compartment (middle glovebox) and threw his arms around Sam. It was supposed to be a comforting embrace, but he was certain that his own fears were turning his ‘hug’ into a suffocating bear-hug.

 

Initially, when Sam first heard Dean’s exclamation, he thought his older brother was criticizing his driving skills! Sam was about to shoot back a retort, but instead, found himself wrapped up in Dean’s warmth.

 

“D-Dean…” Sam whispered hoarsely into his brother’s shoulder before a floodgate of tears opened and Sam couldn’t stop himself from proceeding to sob noisily and inelegantly into Dean’s jacketed shoulder. He too wrapped his arms around Dean. His fingers clenched in the rough jean fabric of his brother’s clothing.

 

“Shhh… It’s… It’s ok… Sammy. Shhh… M’not gonna let anything… bad… happen to you. I swear it. S’not gonna happen. I’m here… I’ve got you… It’s ok… everything is gonna be ok… I promise… Shhh…” Dean murmured into Sam’s ear while he proceeded to rub Sammy’s back in a soothing manner, trying to ease his little brother’s pain and trembling. Even so, Dean couldn’t suppress the several tears that tumbled down his own cheeks, terrified by the thought of losing Sammy to one of the most feared _entities_ in existence.

 

“M-M’kay…” Sam managed to whimper and nod between his heaving sobs.

 

Castiel chose that time to softly interject, “I’ll just… be outside… scouting.” And with that, Castiel zapped himself out of the car, to give the two brothers privacy.

 

Given the situation, the awkward angle they were twisting at as they held each other over the barrier of the center console compartment didn’t cause any discomfort initially. However, as neither Sam nor Dean were ready to let go, the compartment’s digging into their sides finally prompted Dean to make the executive decision. Sliding his hand down to Sam’s right hip, Dean clicked the button to undo Sam’s seatbelt. Pulling back and then kneeling up on the seat, Dean nimbly maneuvered his body to slide between the middle of the frontseat and backseat. Keeping an arm around his little brother the entire time, he pulled them both into the backseat. Surprisingly enough, his little brother’s Sasquatch of a body managed to squeeze through.

 

Following Dean’s lead into the backseat, Sam resumed latching onto his brother - he held on like it was his only lifeline. In some tiny corner of his mind, he was a bit surprised that Dean was allowing him to be as touchy-feely as he was being. Now that there was nothing between them, they were curled up into each other, sitting sideways on the seat, such that their knees and legs were intertwined. Their chests were pressed almost flush against each other, and Sam had his face buried against Dean’s upper left chest. Surprised though he was, Sam was infinitely grateful that Dean was tolerating his need to be held and comforted.

 

Dean resumed stroking his hands over Sammy’s back, feeling the ache in the pit of his stomach lessen as his little brother’s sobs slowly began to recede. Glancing up at the car’s digital clock, Dean noticed it was 5:30am. Sammy had called him at about 4:00am. Dean wasn’t sure whether his brother had slept at all tonight - he hadn’t asked whether Sammy had agonized over what Lucifer had told Sammy before deciding to call Dean. Either way, Dean could tell from Sammy’s somewhat heavily sagging body, due to the stress of the Vessel situation, that it wouldn’t take much more for Dean to be able to put his little brother to a much needed sleep.

 

Dean slid his right hand up higher, past Sammy’s strong shoulders, up the cords of his neck, and into his brother’s hair. Dean then proceeded to run his fingers slowly through said hair. He marveled at how silky and soft it still was, even after all these years.

 

“Mmmf… Dean?” Sam mumbled groggily.

 

“Shhh… s’ok… rest now,” Dean encouraged softly.

 

“Mhmm…” Sam let out in acknowledgment as he semi-consciously nuzzled his face against Dean’s chest. He barely registered Dean’s hand petting through his hair as the gesture began lulling him into sleep.

 

Dean felt a small smile tug at this lips. His little Sammy was still so cute, despite not being so little anymore. Dean recalled that he used to drag his fingers through Sammy’s hair when his brother was much younger and in early elementary school. In the absence of a mother, Dean found himself charged with the responsibility of taking care of Sammy, one that he not only readily agreed to because of necessity, but also because he wanted and even needed to take care of his baby brother.

 

Looking back, Dean realized that his very first memory he had as a child was actually of Sammy – of Dean sitting beside their mother on the hospital bed just as she placed Sammy into his arms, right after he was born, light-blue colored hospital blanket and all. Dean then remembered his Mother saying that the little one’s name was Sammy, and that this was his little brother. Looking down into Sammy’s chubby, scrunched up baby face, a feeling of soaring above the clouds settled in his chest, and yet he also felt slightly worried that he might accidentally do something to hurt his tiny baby brother. Dean held baby Sammy’s little body as if it were made of the most fragile crystal, feeling reassured when their Mother told him that he was doing such a good job. It was from that moment that Dean vowed to always love and protect his baby brother.

 

This vow only got stronger the night their Dad placed 6 month old baby Sammy into his arms and told him to take his baby brother and run out of their burning house, the night the yellow-eyed demon killed their Mother. Dean never, at any point, blamed Sammy for their Mother’s death. Looking back, if Dean had been the one in Sammy’s room instead of their Mother, Dean would have done everything to protect Sammy too, even if it meant sacrificing his own life.

 

And so, after the death of their Mother, Dean found himself taking on a role that some people might consider unusual. Truly, at the time, Dean felt more like Sam’s _parent_ than just his older brother, especially since their Dad was absent so often in his determination to find and kill the demon that had murdered their Mother. Dean looked after Sammy - he fed him, burped him, changed his diapers, bathed him, played with him, helped him learn to speak, and made sure Sammy got to sleep each night, lulling the little one to sleep in his crib by stroking his fingers through his wispy brunette baby hair. Not long after, when Sammy was old enough to not need a crib anymore, Dean and Sammy would cuddle up in one bed - even if there were two beds in the motel room and their Dad was away on a Hunt. Dean continued his practice of putting Sammy to sleep by running his fingers through his hair.

 

Shortly after Sammy entered elementary school, their Dad insisted he keep his hair short – long hair was a common weakness in combat because an opponent could easily grab ahold of it, making it far more difficult to fight back. Several years after that, Sammy’s refusal to cut his hair was a direct rebellion of the Hunter Lifestyle their Dad had chosen for them. Dean felt the corner of his mouth twitch in a soft smile as he continued down memory-lane.

 

Dean had never run his hands through Sammy’s hair as it was now. When they were younger, a certain conversation between Dean and their Dad had put an abrupt end to what Dean considered his world: Sammy.

 

Dean remembered the exact day that fateful conversation happened – it was the late evening of Sammy’s _eighth_ birthday - at this time, Dean had been _twelve_ years old. Their Dad had been there, surprisingly enough, and had told Sammy to get ready for bed. When Dean made to follow Sammy into the motel bathroom, their Dad held him back, telling Sammy to ‘go-ahead’. Their Dad shut the bathroom door such that Sammy was separated from them. Dad had led Dean over to the bed closest to the door and sat him down. The following conversation ensued:

 

“Dean, son. Sammy’s getting older now, and so are you,” Dad had said. “And, you’ve done a great job of looking after him. You’ve been a… good… big brother.”

 

Dean remembered being ecstatic at what Dad was saying, even though he knew he did a great job at looking after Sammy.

 

“But I hope you realize that _that’s all_ you are. You’re his _big brother_. You’re _not_ his… _Mother_. You’re not supposed to… to coddle him, and… you’re _not_ supposed to… tou— uh… have physical contact with him like… like a _Mother_ would. Well… I’m sure you’ve watched tv, watched other families and such. As a big brother… well, you’re supposed to… teach your little brother how to… be a _man_. You know, rough-house, wrestle, how to shoot cans, or well, how to shoot _monsters_ in our case, how to… _talk-tough_ , and be tough. None of those… wishy-washy girly talks about feelings and such. And, eventually when Sammy’s a bit older, as his big brother, you’ll teach him how to… talk to girls, and uh… date girls… That sort of stuff. … I know that… you and Sammy have been sharing a bed up until now, even though I’m often not here, and I’m not sure if that’s because, you’re not sure if I’ll come back sooner than planned or what, but… well… you are both growing up, and… I think— I _know_ … it’s time that… you and Sammy each have your own bed to sleep in, unless I’m here too. I… had hoped that… after I… uh… gave you the… ‘growing up talk’… last year, that you would have decided to sleep in your own bed, but… that didn’t happen… so… yeah…”

 

By this point, Dean had been struck dumb by everything that his Dad was saying, and had remained silent in his shock. As such, his Dad continued speaking to fill the silence.

 

“Of course, you can still be close. You’re brothers, after all. But, no more… putting him to bed… no more… c-cuddling up together while watching tv. None of that. That _stuff_ … just… isn’t… appropri— uh… _manly_. So… you did a good job of looking after Sammy when he was littler, but now it’s your job to teach him how to grow up and… well… how to be a man,” his Dad finally finished. 

 

Dean remembered that his twelve-year-old self felt as if his heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and then thrown in the fire – the same fire that had consumed his Mother’s body. He felt as if he had died. He didn’t know… _how_ to be any of those things his Dad now said he expected of him. Dean only ever knew how to be _loving_ towards Sammy, whom he loved more than anything in the world. He didn’t want to rough-house with Sammy, he didn’t want to do _anything_ that would risk hurting Sammy. He loved being close to Sammy, they were all they really had, especially because they kept moving around everywhere, which Dean understood, but still. And now, his Dad expected him to just… stop? To take on a completely different role? If that was how big brothers really behaved… Dean supposed he had been doing a really bad job at being a ‘big brother’ to Sammy, all this time… and he had just… never known it.

 

Dean had instantly felt tears fill his young eyes as he looked up into his Dad’s face, hoping that all his Dad had just said was just some kind of sick joke, an early April Fool’s Day prank, and a bad one at that. But the look on his Dad’s face was entirely serious.

 

“Dean, _none_ of that. Men don’t… _cry_. Not in public, and not ever, really. Only under rare exceptions, as in… someone very close to them had just _died_ … or… or… their leg has been _ripped off_. I need you to be a good example of what a ‘man’ is, to Sammy. Especially because I’m… well… busy Hunting. _Can_ you do that, Dean? I _need_ you to do this. Otherwise, well… it’ll hurt Sammy, in the long run. He… won’t be… well-adjusted. He’ll be teased in school, won’t ever be able to get a girlfriend, won’t be able to have a family of his own, one day. You know, he’ll want a family eventually - sometime after I’ve killed the demon that… that killed… your Mother. When Sammy’s much older, of course. You… You two won’t always... be together. You’ll grow up, have your own lives, your own families… It’s time you started to realize that. It’s time you… started to let Sammy go… and let him grow up,” Dad emphasized with finality.

 

Despite Dad’s insistences that ‘men’ didn’t cry, Dean had been fully sobbing at this point, though he tried to keep it down, just so Sammy wouldn’t worry. More than anything in the world, Dean never wanted to do anything to hurt Sammy. So… if doing these things that his Dad said he now needed to do, in order to not hurt Sammy as he… grew up… then, then Dean would do them, even though he didn’t want to, even if the idea of completely changing the way they interacted and just, _everything_ , even if the idea was enough to rip him up inside… he would do it. He would teach Sammy to be a man, like their Dad wanted him to. He’d never do anything to hurt Sammy, not intentionally. So… he’d do it.

 

Dean found himself nodding in response to all his Dad had said. “’K-Kay,” was all Dean had managed to choke out.

 

Their Dad raised a giant hand and briefly squeezed one of Dean’s thin shoulders. “That’s good, Dean. I’m… really glad to hear it. So… separate beds tonight, right? No tucking Sammy in to bed… I’m going on a Hunt tonight, so… I won’t be back until noon tomorrow.”

 

Dean barely registered the fact their Dad had left by the time Sammy had come out of the bathroom. Dean had remained facing towards the motel room’s main door, and had already managed to force himself to stop crying. He would be the man his Dad expected him to be. He would be the new role model that his Dad expected him to be for Sammy. He would do it, even if he hated it, even if he felt like crying all over again and flames of despair scorched his heart.

 

“Dean?” Eight-year-old Sammy had called from the bathroom, confusion in his voice.

 

They usually slept in the farthest bed away from the door. So it was no surprise that Sammy was puzzled by Dean’s remaining on the bed closest to the door.

 

Clearing his throat so his voice was as steady as he could manage, Dean had answered. “M’gonna sleep… in… m-my own bed… tonight… and… from… n-now on… And… y-you’re eight now, so… you should start sleeping in… your own bed… too… at least… when Dad’s not here too.”

 

“B-But… Dean…” Sammy had responded, in a clearly broken and sad voice. Dean could hear Sam’s soft footfalls on the thin motel carpet, coming over towards him. Worried that Sammy would see the tears that had again begun tracking down his cheeks, Dean quickly yanked back the covers of the bed and slid under, burying his face into the pillow, hiding the evidence of his heartbreak. Turning his head only slightly, Dean had managed to raise his voice enough to issue one order, doing their best to match their Dad’s tone of voice, “Go to bed, Sammy!” There was no softness to his voice – no kindness, no soothing goodnights, just… abrupt harshness. Dean was sure his Dad would be proud of him… but that didn’t stop Dean from feeling like an utter jerk and abusive buttwipe.

 

Apparently, it had been so harsh that it caused Sammy to stop walking towards him. Instead, Dean heard what were the unmistakable sounds of crying behind him. That night they had slept in separate beds.

 

It had been one of the most painful nights Dean ever remembered. Even more painful than years later, the night Dean had been ripped open by Hell Hounds before losing his soul to Lilith and consequently dying, though, _not_ as painful as when Sammy had died in his arms.

 

Young Sammy cried himself to sleep that night, clearly audible to Dean from the next bed.

 

Dean cried too and didn’t sleep at all. Dean had cried the _whole_ night. The only way he managed to not alert Sammy to his distress was by alternating between biting the pillow and biting his knuckles, the latter in an effort to keep himself quiet by distracting himself with pain whenever he felt a large sob about to slip out of him. By the morning, he had bit himself so hard and so many times, that the knuckles on both hands had been bloody. He got up before Sammy and cleaned, disinfected, and wrapped his hands. Then, for the next couple of weeks, Dean kept his hands in his pockets whenever possible, and made sure that Sammy was distracted doing something else while Dean prepared their meals, etc. When their Dad had later asked about the bandages, Dean told him he had practiced fighting so he could teach Sammy one day soon. He wasn’t sure if his Dad had believed him. 

 

But, ever since that disastrous, life-altering painful night, everything Dean had done, everything he had changed about himself, was in an effort to be the perfect role model his Dad had told him that he needed to be in order for Sammy to not get hurt. And a large part of Dean hated himself for it. Hated himself for what he had become. Hated himself for hurting Sammy, even all those years ago.

 

Truly though, it seemed as if Sammy had adjusted better to their vastly changed relationship than Dean had adjusted. For the first several months, Dean literally couldn’t be around Sammy for long periods of time – worried that he would slip up, would hug him, or cuddle up with him, or, or… anything really. He didn’t know what Sammy thought about his longer than usual absences, where Dean would wander aimlessly around whatever town they were in, trying to figure out how he would survive not being close to his little brother anymore, trying to figure out how he would learn the things their Dad expected of him.

 

But somehow, Dean had managed it. Physically being in different locations allowed Dean to learn how to not need to have so much physical contact with Sammy when they were in the same location. Any contact between them was so-called ‘rough-housing’, light shoving, punches to the shoulder, and elbowing lightly to the ribs. On a rare occasion, like birthdays and stuff, there had been brief one-armed hugs.

 

It was the freaking hardest thing Dean had ever done – infinitely harder than killing monsters. The other thing that seemed to help Dean maintain a ‘manly’ distance from Sammy, was when Dean tried to find some kind of physical comfort with _girls_. Before that fateful talk with his Dad on Sammy’s eighth birthday, Dean had not cared at all for girls. He could not care less. Sammy was his world, his brother, his only friend, everything, that was it. He didn’t need anyone else. Well, maybe except for their Dad. But after that, Dean found that girls could at least help provide a similar comfort that he had once found with Sammy, even though it was a very _very_ poor substitute. Additionally, the contact he had with girls involved a vastly different sort of contact - girls expected him to do sexual stuff. Sexual stuff that, he of course, had _never done_ with Sammy, _nor_ had the _thought_ ever crossed his mind to do such things with his innocent and sweet little brother.

 

Dean didn’t like ‘doing stuff’ with girls. Not at first, and not for a long time. But after a few years, and out of habit, Dean got used to it, and in a sense looked forward to it, and then eventually craved it, as often as possible, because it was the only close physical contact he had with anyone. Furthermore, his ‘doing stuff’ with girls also kept his mind off of the loss of contact he had with Sammy, even though the type of contact had been entirely familial between him and Sammy. He also felt like he had to put on a show for Sammy – to show him how to be a ‘man’, how to go ‘get girls’, which would allow him to eventually find the right girl and… start a family… have kids of his own… just like his Dad had said Sammy would one day. And as Sammy grew older, eventually Sam let his feelings be known for how much he despised Hunting and moving around – in other words, Sammy wanted to stay in one place, to presumably ‘settle down’. As a result, Dean was inclined to believe that their Dad had been right the whole time: That Sammy would eventually settle down with some girl, start a family, and leave him behind.

 

When Sammy had announced that he was going to Stanford and was thus also going to stop Hunting, it was kind of ironic that although it saddened Dean, he accepted it, whereas their Dad had a much harder time accepting it - not that their Dad had really _ever_ accepted it. Apparently, Dean ended up doing a better job at letting Sammy ‘grow up to become a man’ than their Dad had done.

 

While Sammy was at Stanford, Dean would often drop by to check up on him, covertly of course. And while there, Dean also made sure to kill every single supernatural monster and vengeful spirit within an hour drive of Sammy’s university. He soon discovered that Sammy and another university student named Jessica had become a couple. Based on his observation of the couple, Dean had pretty much assumed that Jessica was ‘the one’ for Sammy.

 

While being away from Sammy who remained at the University, it had become easier for Dean to bury the loss he felt all those years ago when Sammy had been 8 years old. But, when Jessica had been killed by the same demon that had killed their mother, and Sammy had come back into his life, every now and then, that same loss would rise up from where Dean did his best to suppress it. It’s not like his brother probably even really remembered what their old relationship used to be like – Sammy had been younger than 8 years old at that time. However, Dean didn’t want to assume that Sammy didn’t remember their old relationship, since Dean had his first memory at age 4, when he got to hold Sammy for the first time the day his little brother was born.

 

Whether or not Sammy remembered their old relationship being any different from their newer relationship didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things, because Sammy seemed content with their relationship as it was now. The occasional teasing and ribbing seemed to suit his little brother just fine, and if _that_ was fine with Sammy, then it was fine with Dean.

 

Just then, Sammy shifted slightly in his sleep and Dean’s thoughts snapped back to the present: To Sammy having cried over the fact he was supposed to be Lucifer’s Vessel and had been personally told _that_ horrific news by Lucifer himself.

 

After all this time of not having any significant comforting contact for any remotely long period of time, it seemed to have flung open the doors to all of Dean’s prior feelings of loss since the forced change in their relationship that their Dad had required of him.

 

A few years ago, Dean eventually came to the conclusion that their Dad’s list of requirements for how he should treat Sammy after he turned 8 years old, was unnecessary, as Dean had seen several male family members being more tender with each other than what his Dad had told him was typical and appropriate in their society. But, by the time Dean had come to this conclusion, Dean had been so used to going through the motions of his forced act of machoness and womanizing-self, that he no longer knew how to find his way back towards a ‘middle-ground’. As such, he continued on as he had been. Although, ever since being reunited with Sammy at Stanford when Dean sought Sam’s help in finding their missing Dad, Dean felt his resolve slip just a bit, which had resulted in a huge two-armed hug. Ever since that night, Dean decided two-armed hugs were ok… as long as they were either bear-hugs or very short hugs, and only for certain occasions.

 

But now back in the present, with Sammy sleeping in his arms, for what was at least the past hour of Dean’s mental travels down memory-lane, Dean gave in to that loss, and enjoyed and cherished holding his little brother close, the closest they had ever been over the last 18 years.

 

“M’never gonna hurt you, Sammy. And, M’never gonna let anyone else hurt you. No one, nothing, not ever. S-Sammy… I… I love you… so much…” Dean whispered in soft broken words into Sammy’s hair – words that Dean hadn’t spoken since before Sammy turned 8. Holding Sammy tighter, Dean then pressed a kiss to his little brother’s forehead. Sammy stirred lightly in his sleep, but immediately settled down against Dean, seemingly even more calmed than before, judging by the muscles of his little brother’s shoulders relaxing under Dean’s hands. Pressing one more kiss lightly to Sammy’s temple, Dean turned his face into his own shoulder, letting out the tears of grief over all the years of feeling loss. His tears seeped into his jacket sleeve… completely unknown to Sammy.

 

****

 

**Chapter 1: Shocking Hope**

 

**Part 4: Rules**

 

Dean hadn’t slept at all, not a wink. His eyes felt swollen and scratchy, and his sleeve was a mess of tears and snot. He even felt lightheaded, probably because he was dehydrated from crying so much. He didn’t know where Cas was, but he hoped that his ‘scouting’ was being done far away from the car - otherwise, he hoped that Cas _never_ _ever_ asked about anything he had done in the car after Sammy had fallen asleep.

 

As Sammy slowly began to shift, signaling that he would wake within the next few minutes, assuming that he had the same sleep patterns that he used to when he was younger, Dean did his best to subtly wipe at his face, erasing what was sure to be an entire web of salty trails down his cheeks. As soon as Sammy moved, Dean would also have to quickly remove his tear-laden jacket and stash it somewhere in a wadded up ball – with how wet the sleeve was, there was no way he could pass it off as only Sammy’s sleep drool.

 

Dean inhaled sharply several times - swallowing the excess snot he felt clogging his nostrils and throat. Ah, the joys of crying all night.

 

Dean also supposed that as soon as Sammy woke, they should ask Cas to zap them to a more secure location. Ideally a motel room, complete with salt-lines, demon-traps, and Enochian Sigils: Guaranteed to keep out Demons, Angels, and a wide variety of other monsters that were salt-sensitive. He really should consider adding ground-up iron to the salt-line. But he decided to hold off for now, since iron worked best when it was impaled in whatever monster they were fighting anyway.

 

Anyways, as soon as they moved, Dean wanted to start brainstorming about the ways they would keep Sammy safe from Lucifer. He would also of course be contacting Bobby with the news and ask him for additional advice.

 

Getting his… emotions… under control and digging up his typical macho attitude, Dean swallowed several more times, and took several slow and deep breaths, getting ready to put on his usual façade the moment Sammy woke. Dean even searched for some semi-sarcastic line he could spout off – after all, it’s not like he could just expect Sammy to write-off Dean holding him the entire rest of the night, right? … Or could he? After all, how often was it that one got such horrific news as being used as a Vessel to destroy the world and everything in it? Hmm… like, once in one person’s lifetime? Ok… So maybe Dean did have an excuse. Well… that was good.

 

“Mmffhh… Uhhmm… D-Dean?” Sammy spoke in a scratchy sleep-heavy voice as he began shifting against the warm chest in front of him.

 

“M’here Sammy. You sleep well?” Dean asked, though a moment later he bit his tongue – it wasn’t a macho thing to say at all. Rather, it was what Dean would have asked the next day after having shared a bed with Sammy, all those years ago.

 

As the neurons in Sam’s brain fired him up to wakefulness, he realized that he was rubbing his cheek against Dean’s chest! Sammy sprung back away from Dean, horrified at the spectacle he must have made of himself in front of his super-masculine womanizing brother. He sincerely hoped Dean would cut him some slack and not make fun of him for the next… well… _forever_. Oddly enough, Sam didn’t get far in his springing back from Dean, because he found Dean’s arms still wrapped securely around him. In fact, impacting Dean’s tightly wrapped arms around him simply caused Sammy to bounce back towards Dean, their chests colliding – it was lucky their faces weren’t level, because otherwise Sammy might’ve given them both bloody noses.

 

“Oof!” Sammy’s breath sounded as the impact forced it out of him. He heard a similar sound from Dean.

 

“Whoa… Haha, ok, easy there Sammy. If you wanted to spar, all you had to do was ask,” Dean said, his mild bantering ability finally having come back to him. He thought it wasn’t too bad after a night of… of… less-than-macho memories and feelings. Of course, now he had to force himself to remove his arms from around Sammy, even though he really _really_ didn’t feel ready to do so, but… he managed.

 

The moment Sam felt Dean’s arms release him, Sam scooted further away on the seat. He felt his face heat at Dean’s words. He hadn’t meant to make such a scene. Here his brother had put up with consoling him the entire night, since now the sun was well overhead, judging by the shadow of a car that just flew past them. And then, Sam realized they were still parked on the side of some less-than-frequently-used freeway. _Seriously? I slept… in… Dean’s a-arms?! The entire night?! Fuck! He’s never going to let me forget it! Shit! Couldn’t he have woken me up sooner? Uch… Ohh… morning breath… I can taste it in my mouth. How did we even end up here again? … Oh… Fuck!!! Lucifer! He… He told me I’m his Vessel! Oh Jesus! Please, please tell me that was all a bad dream! Tell me that Dean and I faced some crazy hallucination-causing monster that just scrambled my brain last night and planted some psychotic, completely fake memories! Shit! Why… Why does bad shit keep happening to us?! To me?! As if losing Jessica, losing Dad, losing Dean after I saw him ripped apart by a Hell Hound when Lilith came to claim his soul, and being tricked by Ruby into setting Lucifer free and starting the Apocalypse, wasn’t enough! Fuck! … No wonder Dean let me sleep… like that… until now. Jesus._

 

Dean studied the fearful emotions that erratically flashed across Sammy’s face. Acting on instincts, ones that pried apart the _typically_ carefully guarded dungeon he had created in his young mind to contain his emotions and his younger self’s habits towards his brother, Dean found himself shifting forward and wrapping one arm partway around Sammy’s left shoulder while the other hand into the right side of Sammy’s hair. “S’gonna be ok, Sammy. Just like I said last night. I am not going to let Lucifer use you as his Vessel, ever. Whatever it takes, Sammy. I will not let it happen. Ok? So… so don’t you go… freaking out… and… shit. Ok? Cas is here too - he’s going to help. And, o’course, as soon as we get to a motel, we’ll call Bobby too. I’m sure he’ll have a shit ton of ideas on how to beat this. You hear me? It’s gonna be just fine.” Of course, while Dean was saying all this stuff to put Sammy’s fears at ease, it wasn’t until he stopped speaking that he realized that during his entire speech of ‘it’s gonna be ok’, he had been petting Sammy’s hair, just as he had done earlier, and was rubbing calming circles against his little brother’s back.

 

Sam remained one-hundred percent immobile. _Wh-What is Dean… doing? Maybe… Maybe we really did get… cursed… by something… Is his hand seriously like… stroking my hair right now?_

 

It was then that Dean also noticed that Sammy’s eyes were darting between both of Dean’s arms, probably wondering what the _fuck_ he was doing! _Good fucking question, what the fuck am I doing?! Shit! I can’t be doing… this… stuff… Ok, gotta get it together, man!_

 

Yanking his hands back, suspiciously fast… Dean punched Sam’s left shoulder. “So… So don’t you _fucking_ worry! Y’hear? Anyway, let’s get out and find Cas. I’m starving!” Ok, so he’d hit Sammy _wayyy_ harder than he had intended, even his fist freaking hurt! Not to mention, talking about food right now was entirely inappropriate. And he didn’t want food! He wanted a fucking solution to protect Sammy, permanently! Screw food! He didn’t care if he ever saw food again! Shit, he must seem like such a fucking prick to Sammy right now. _Just, shit!_

 

“Ooouuch! Dean! Seriously, man! Fuck! Well, maybe if you break my shoulder, Lucifer won’t want a damaged Vessel! Why don’t you try it again? Hit me harder, I think you’ll succeed! Fuck!” Sam exclaimed, though laughing a bit hysterically at the latter part. Now _there_ was an idea. Maybe it was crazy enough to work!

 

“Ohhh… don’t be such a whiny little bitch, Sammy. Suck it up! Be a man!” Dean found himself ribbing. _Yup, definitely increasing my rating as an insensitive macho prick. Why does he put up with me again?_  

 

“Shut up, Jerk,” Sammy countered, as per usual, but ended it with a smile. He was now certain that Dean was just as freaked out about the whole situation as he was. He was sure that after Dean had displayed such genuine concern and emotion that Dean had just experienced a massive freak-out about it, resulting in a massive dose of testosterone, adrenaline, and oh yes, a side of asshole-machoism. Altogether, it resulted in a now throbbing shoulder. _Shit, that hurts! I hope his fist is feeling it too! Damnit!_ He rubbed the surely bruised area to distract himself from the pain.

 

Taking in Sammy’s clear discomfort made Dean feel like crap, but he didn’t know what else to do about it. His usual carefully crafted façade would fall apart if he tried comforting Sammy any more than he already had. Deciding it was best to move past it, Dean yanked the car door’s handle and got out. He remembered to take off his tear-soaked jacket. He then wadded it up and tossed it onto the backseat’s floor. He hoped he didn’t forget it – they didn’t often go shopping for clothes, and it would be dangerous to be seen by angels and demons in human Vessels.

 

Now that his shoulder was just dully throbbing, Sam again considered the possibility of purposely maiming his body to dissuade any certain angels (or _fallen_ ones) from wanting to use him as a Vessel. The more he thought about it, the more merit it had. Logging the thought away for later, Sam scooted forwards and followed Dean out of the backseat’s right door.

 

Dean looked around for Cas. He hoped their angel friend might have additional ideas for how to protect Sammy. He shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun and scanned the area. Turning away from the double-lane freeway, he squinted as he looked out at the surrounding landscape that consisted of low rolling grassy hills. “Cas?!” Dean called out, when he saw no sign of the angel.

 

Not even a second later, Dean heard the telltale _whoosh_ of air, behind him, signaling the angel’s arrival.

 

“I’m here, Dea—” Cas began.

 

Dean pivoted on his heel to face Cas. “Yes, I know you’re here. Now Cas, what have I told you about ‘personal space’?” Presently, Dean really didn’t care if Cas had appeared on top of him - that’s just how stressed he was by everything. But he felt the need for something normal to ground him. Nagging the angel for his typical violations of human personal space was the something _normal_ he needed.

 

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. During his brief time apart, he had missed the exchanges between Dean and Cas. Heck, who was he kidding - he missed anything that was Dean related. Speaking of related… _Where’s the Impala?! Did he actually leave his ‘baby’ to be with me quicker? …Honestly, I’m flattered. But I wonder - How long will it take before Dean goes into Impala withdrawal?_

 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel responded sincerely, and took a full step backward.

 

Dean jerked his head in approval. He glanced at where Sammy leaned against the side of the stolen vehicle, before continuing. “S’ok. Look Cas, we need to get off the road and someplace safe, a motel or something, for now. We need to talk more about… about the… _situation_ ,” was what Dean managed.

 

“Agreed,” Castiel replied before zapping himself into the left backseat, buckled and all.

 

When Dean and Sam just stared, Cas cleared his throat. “This is a matter of urgency. Would you not agree?”

 

Sam and Dean were accustomed to Cas popping in and out, but not in the middle of an ongoing conversation. If the angel was using his powers to make haste, even by milliseconds, the news that Sam was supposed to be Lucifer’s Vessel must be even _more_ grave than they initially thought. And that was saying something.

 

Through unspoken habit, and even though it was not the Impala, Dean got into the driver’s seat. He found the keys still in the ignition - Sam must’ve had enough sense to turn the car off before Dean had pulled him into the backseat late last night.

 

Sam got into the front passenger side, adjusting the seat half a foot backwards to accommodate his much longer legs.

 

As soon as they were all settled, Dean took off, speeding at least 20 miles over the speed limit. But who really cared, it’s not like there were any cops this far out in the middle of nowhere-highway. Although it would have been faster for Cas to just zap them to a motel, Dean figured they would still need a car in the foreseeable future. They couldn’t take his ‘baby’, because his conspicuous car would draw too much unwanted attention. Therefore it’d be best to use their current car that Sam had presumably stolen from a farther away location than their current location – they were less likely to be tracked.

 

Eventually they arrived at a shabby motel. It didn’t really matter to Dean, because it was the salt-lines and Enochian Sigils that were important. He checked into a room with two queens – ignoring the expected inquisitive look from the female receptionist as she eyed the three of them.

 

Once Dean got the key and arrived at the corner motel room, they all set to work on warding the room. Soon enough, the salt-lines and sigils were in place.

 

Dean sat on the bed closest to the door.

 

Sam took the other bed.

 

Castiel stood a couple feet away between the foot of each bed.

 

Now they could talk.

 

“Cas, can you think of a way to… I don’t know… to block an Angel from ever possessing someone? Even with their permission? Cuz you know, after what Zach did to us… I’d really like to _not_ find out what Lucifer will do,” Dean said, inserting a forced laugh.

 

Considering that Dean never claimed to be the ‘geek’ or ‘brains’, Sam always found himself pleasantly surprised when his brother came up with something ‘smart’ that hadn’t even occurred to him. _That would be a genius idea if something like that existed! Heck, if such a thing exists, I’ll buy Dean a lifetime subscription to Busty Asian Beauties!_

 

Dean and Sam waited on the edge of their beds expectantly for Cas to answer. He certainly seemed to be taking his sweet time for someone who had been in such a hurry earlier.

 

Castiel silently debated with himself. What he was about to reveal was a highly kept angelic secret. Revealing such a thing would likely result in labeling him a traitor. But since he had already been so labeled, he didn’t see a downside to telling them, especially if it would protect Sam. “…Well, there is something…”

 

When Cas didn’t continue immediately, Dean prompted, “Ok, aaannd?”

 

“Khrm!” Castiel cleared his throat. “Uh, you might consider sitting back more on those beds… just in case.”

 

Dean and Sam exchanged slightly fearful and puzzled looks, but obeyed their friend, scooted back more and mentally prepared themselves.

 

“There is a rule that governs which Vessels can be used by an Angel. This Angelic Rule states that: An Angel cannot ‘possess’ a Vessel if that Vessel has committed 4 out of 5 Unforgivable Sins,” Castiel informed them.

 

It took a moment for the rule to sink into the brothers’ minds.

 

Sam released a breath. He didn’t know what those sins were, but if they involved hurting innocent people, he wasn’t interested. They’d have to just find another way.

 

Dean however, all but leapt for joy. _Why the heck did Cas think we needed to sit down for this?_ He was practically ready to dance a jig. “Alright! Now that’s what I’m talking ‘bout! Let’s have ‘em! Come on, come on, let’s hear ‘em, Cas! Don’t stop now! What’re these 5 badass sins?!”

 

“Dean! Seriously man? You’re not actually consideri—” Sam admonished.

 

“Yeah Sammy, I’m considering. Heck, I’m more than considering! Soon as I find out what they are, we’re gonna do ‘em!” Dean insisted immovably.

 

Sam made a displeased sound of protest in his throat, but maybe Dean had a point. Some so-called religious ‘sins’ didn’t necessarily always hurt people. The weird ones, the ones that Atheists argued shouldn’t be imposed on everyone else – something he agreed with. But, he sincerely doubted that the 5 _Unforgivable_ Sins would be one of those _debated_ sins. He didn’t seem to have the best of luck. He shrugged at Cas, indicating that he should continue.

 

“Right then. Well, the 5 Unforgivable Sins consist of the following: 1) Murder; 2) Idolatry; 3) Adultery; 4) Bestiality; and… uh… 5) Incest,” Castiel announced, stuttering out the last bit. Apparently it was awkward for him to tell the last Unforgivable Sin to two people who were _brothers_.

 

Dean’s face and Sam’s face quickly took on a rather greenish hue, but for slightly different reasons.

 

It didn’t even take one second for Dean to mentally cross-off Sin #5 - there was no way he would ever consider engaging in _Incest_ with his baby brother. Therefore, he was dealing with the nauseating prospect of committing Sin #4: _Bestiality_. Sammy might’ve been able to sleep with something less than human, like that werewolf chick way back when, but Dean hadn’t liked it then, and he didn’t like it now. Furthermore, if they were going to do this, Dean also wanted to make sure than no Angels could use himself as a Vessel either. Dean really felt that cutting off his own dick would be preferable to sleeping with a monster, but if it was for the sake of protecting his brother… and the planet… _Shit! Fine, I’ll have to just… ‘take one for the team’… fuck! Why couldn’t one of the Unforgivable Sins just be ditching church on the Sabbath?!_

 

Sam felt particularly ill because there was more than just one sin that he refused to commit. It would put him into a permanent fit of moral distress for eternity if he violated those prohibitions to ‘save his own skin’ – practically literally. _Idolatry_ , he’d deal with well enough. But, he refused to _Murder_ someone, and he refused to commit _Adultery_! However, he had likely already committed _Bestiality_ , because he had already slept with a woman-turned-werewolf before. Other than that, the only other Sin he might dare consider committing was _Incest_. He’d never thought of his brother in that way before. Ever. He wasn’t even gay! And those drunken nights at the frat houses back at Stanford did not count! But, if committing these sins was to save the world, and save them both, Dean included, since Michael wouldn’t be able to possess him, then… he’d do it. _But before I do that, I’d be sure to have scheduled a psychological-therapy session. The next day! No! The next hour! And, I’d make sure Dean got tested for every STD/STI on the planet! He has slept with one too many girls for me not to expect him to undergo those tests!_

 

“If neither of you find it objectionable, I can examine you to determine which of these 5 Sins you have already committed,” Castiel offered.

 

When Dean and Sam nodded silently, still mulling over their shock and own thoughts, Cas reached out both of his hands and pressed a palm to each of their foreheads.

 

“Hmm… Dean, you have already committed 3 out of the 5 sins: 1) Murder; 2) Idolatry; and 3) Adultery. Sam, you have already committed 3 out of the 5 sins too: 1) Murder; 2) Idolatry; and 3) Adultery. You committed identical sins.”

 

“Wait, what?!” Sam exclaimed in horror. “I’ve never committed _murder_! I never committed _adultery_ either! And, why didn’t you say I committed _bestiality_?! I slept with a werewolf before!” Sam protested, shocked and indignant.

 

 “Well, the commandment reads: ‘Thou Shall Not Murder’ – it does not require that one murder a _human_ , it could be _any living creature_ that you kill intentionally that is also not necessary for ‘self defense’ and not necessary for ‘sustenance’. Therefore, the insects you and Dean have murdered all count as violating that commandment. Also, even though admirable, killing the humans that were possessed by a demon were innocent. Even though it is for purposes of self-defense, it is self-defense against the _demon_ that possessed them, not self-defense again the _human_ vessel. Thus, when you killed the innocent human too, you violated this commandment.”

 

“Furthermore Sam,” Castiel continued, “you committed _adultery_ when you slept with a woman who was still married. The fact that she was in the process of a _divorce_ does not excuse you from violating this commandment. Ah, and the reason that you have not committed _bestiality_ is because werewolves are not ‘beasts’ for purposes of ‘bestiality’,” Cas informed Sam. “You see, in regards to ‘bestiality’, there are ‘beasts’ and there are ‘non-beasts’. The determination of whether another creature is a ‘beast’ is _relative to_ the _intelligence of_ and _ability to communicate_ _with_ the subject creature. You are human, so you are the subject creature. Any other creatures that possesses similar intelligence and the ability to substantially communicate with you are ‘non-beasts’ relative to you. Thus for humans generally, ‘non-beasts’ include: werewolves, shape-shifters, vampires, sirens, ghouls… basically most of the supernatural creatures you Hunt. But for humans, ‘beasts’ would include creatures such as cats, dogs, cows, horses, monkeys, giraff—”

 

“G-d! Cas, just… Stop! We get it, alright?!” Dean shouted. He did his best to scourge the images Cas just put in his head. _Really? He really was about to say giraffes?! How… How could someone even manage that one?! With stilts?! A ladder?! Jesus! I’m gonna have nightmares!_

 

Sam was a wreck. And here he had thought he was a good person. Or, at least he _tried_ to be a good person - he could only blame himself so much for being tricked by Ruby into starting the Apocalypse. He had committed 3 out of 5 Unforgivable Sins… he was horrified. Sam felt as if his entire stomach was in his throat when Cas told him he was guilty of committing _murder_ , and the divine definition of murder. Therefore, Sam had committed _murder_ not once, not twice, but G-d only knew how many times! They practically lived in vermin-filled motel rooms their whole life. Who knew it was wrong to smash a cockroach here and there.

 

 _I am so fucked…_ Sam bemoaned to himself. Hopefully Purgatory was real, so that he would be able to repent for his sins. _Well, I can’t exactly go back in time to change what I’ve already done, but I can change what I do from now on._ That being decided, Sam decided to jump back in on the conversation that he had partly been listening to it, “So, basically what you’re saying is that a ‘beast’ for purposes of bestiality for us humans, would be any non-supernatural creature.”

 

“That is correct,” Castiel affirmed.

 

Dean had been a bit shocked by Cas’s revelation that he was guilty of _murder_ , but even with that definition… Dean didn’t have any regrets. He knew that killing those evil sonsofbitches (ie demons), would have ultimately hurt hundreds of more innocent people. If that was enough to be condemned, then so be it. But, with all he had heard about G-d, there was such a thing as forgiveness. So, maybe G-d would cut them some slack – after all, he had been rescued from Hell once. In terms of the _adultery_ , he could probably see that. In all his little trysts on the road, he had a strict ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy – it protected him and his family from people who inquired about what jobs they did (ie Hunting), and in turn, he didn’t ask any uncomfortable questions of his one-night-stands. It was likely that one of them had been married and just hadn’t volunteered that information.

 

There was one thing Dean didn’t understand though. “Hey, what about the _Idolatry_ one? Y’know me, I’m not exactly Mr. Church-goer of the year. I don’t think I worship a pile of stones known as ‘idols’. And, unless there’s something Sammy forgot to tell me, I don’t think he does either,” said Dean.

 

“Well, _Idolatry_ is also interpreted broadly. From what I saw when I examined you, you idolized your father, the ultimate hunter, and the person you wanted to be most like, except in regards to how you wanted to treat Sam, becau—” Cas began to answer.

 

Dean felt a wave of dread crash down upon him. He didn’t want to risk Cas saying anything specific about how Dean’s actions towards Sammy had changed due to what their father had said the night Sammy turned eight years old. “Never mind! I get it! I get it! Now… what’d Sammy do?”

 

Sam raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Dean, equivalent to the phrase, _‘Spaz much?’_

 

Dean’s gaze caught the silent question, but didn’t respond for obvious reasons.

 

“Oh, right. Sam committed _Idolatry_ when he idolized a ‘normal lifestyle’ rather than a ‘hunters lifestyle’,” Cas replied.

 

There was a pause.

 

“That’s it?! That gets me labeled as an ‘Idolater’?! Shit! That’s not fair! Everyone else got to live a normal life, but not me! Yet when I complained about it, that counts as Idolatry?!” Sam yelled indignantly.

 

“Uh, yes. Sadly, it is common for humans to violate at least a couple of these 5 Unforgivable Sins, which is why G-d allows for 3 to be committed for an Angel to still possess them, but if there are 4… that was apparently too unacceptable a Vessel to be used,” Castiel said in an effort to placate his friends.

 

“In any case,” Castiel continued, “this leaves you to choose between 2 remaining Unforgivable Sins: _Bestiality_ and _Incest_. Although you may find both… unappealing, I would suggest Incest if it is mutually consented to, so you will avoid being eternally damned to Hell. You see, because committing Bestiality involves you engaging in sexual intercourse with an animal of significantly lesser intellect, it would likely be considered Rape, and Rape is an terrible crime that is Eternally Damned.”

 

“But wait,” Sam questioned, “wouldn’t all the “Unforgivable Sins” result in Eternal Damnation? After all, they are “Unforgivable”, aren’t they?” Sam finished hesitantly, still feeling nauseous.

 

Castiel shifted from foot-to-foot uncomfortably, “Well, not quite. Contrary to their name, ‘Unforgivable Sins’ aren’t actually always truly ‘Unforgivable’ – meaning, committing an Unforgivable Sin will not necessarily result in Eternal Damnation to Hell. For example, the reason that _Incest_ is listed as one of the Unforgivable Sins, is because in the vast majority of situations that result in Incest, one of the relatives actually took such advantage over their other relative that it would actually qualify as being Rape. As I mentioned before, it is Rape that is a Sin that results in Eternal Damnation to Hell. However, as I also mentioned before, if you (Sam) and Dean both mutually agree to engage in _Incest_ for this purpose of sabotaging your bodies such that neither of you can be possessed by Angels, it would not be considered Rape at all, since neither of you is taking any undue advantage over the other or forcing the other to engage in sex, in any way.”

 

 _…But if we might already be Eternally Damned for doing the other sorta Unforgivable Sins… does it really matter?_ Dean muttered silently to himself, not wanting to upset his little brother any more than he appeared to already be. _Well, maybe we’ll be ok, they’re only sorta Unforgivable after all, except Bestiality apparently._ Following fast on that thought was his increasing panic over realizing that in order to prevent Sammy’s body from being used as a Vessel, he and Sammy would have to commit _Incest_ … _together_. He had no knowledge of any other living relatives - they were all dead as far as he knew. Besides, they both had to commit the act, so… they might as well do it with each other. Even if they did have living relatives, there was surely no way they would believe that Angels were real or that it was necessary to engage in Incest for the purpose of preventing the freaking Apocalypse! They’d be sent off to the nut-house for sure if they even tried to explain the situation!

 

Dean then pondered the implications of what having sex with Sammy would actually entail, how it would effect their relationship, whether he would even mentally ever be prepared for such a thing. Despite the fact that he referred to Sammy as his brother, in truth, back before Sammy had turned 8 years old, and their Father demanded that Dean stop coddling Sammy, Dean actually felt as if Sammy was his son rather than his little brother. After all, he had taken care of him and raised him until he was 8 years old, and even after, still technically continued to raise him, even though he acted differently towards him. So basically, if they were to engage in Incest, it would be like Dean would be having sex with his own son. And this thought swept cold terror through Dean’s veins. It wasn’t that he was scared of Sammy, it was just that the thought of doing such a thing with the person he loved more than anything, and in some part of his mind, still considered to be a son to him, wrecked havoc on his emotions in a way that nothing ever had. He suddenly felt faint, and was thankful that he was already lying back against the headboard of the bed.

 

Sam exhaled sharply in somewhat relief – there was hope for their eternal souls yet if the ‘Unforgivable Sins’ weren’t truly Unforgivable. Talk about False Advertising! Turning back to the topic of committing Incest, Sam figured that the only living relative closely related enough to be considered Incest if they slept together, would be Dean. Everyone else close to them had already died. Although Sam balked at the thought of actually having Gay Sex, because he wasn’t gay, and neither was Dean, and balking again at the thought of actually having sex with his _brother_ , Sam figured it could be a lot worse. Although he and Dean sometimes argued, they cared about each other, and though Dean never said so, Sam figured Dean must love him as much as Sam loved Dean. They had each others’ backs, through thick and thin. Also, it didn’t hurt that Dean was actually kinda… well… hot, for a guy… if he was into guys. Which he wasn’t. But if he were into guys… he would consider Dean to be pretty hot. He had a nice face, a well-muscled body, was fearless, protective… and he apparently had a lot of experience in having sex! Having sex with Dean was almost 100% guaranteed to feel amazing. Even so, Sam still found himself swallowing hard, because what with all the girls Dean had slept with, he practically had a sex addiction to heterosexual sex. There was no way that Dean would be willing to Bottom if they had sex together. Therefore, it would be Sam who would have to be The Bottom. Although it made him uneasy, to say the least, he came to the conclusion that that’s just how it was going to have to be.

 

At the same time Sammy reached his conclusion, Dean pulled himself together and readied himself to just get it over with and do the right thing: Protect Sammy. “Alright, thanks Cas. I think we can take it from here. So, Sammy? We gonna do this? I mean, if that’s what you want. But if you want to, I… I… You can just… Well, we might need to stop at the store and get some lube or lotion, or whatever, but, as soon as we do…” and at that, Dean took a deep breath and spit out the rest of his sentence, “youcanfuckme!”

 

Sam was used to his brother talking fast, but even he wasn’t sure if he quite caught the last part Dean said – surely he had misheard. Sam shot a glance at Cas who looked entirely perplexed by what Dean had said – he figured the Angel must not have even been able to parse-out what Dean had said, whereas Sam had been able to parse-out what Dean had said but was wondering if he misunderstood the implication of what he said. “Uh, what?” Sam hoped Dean would elaborate.

 

“Chrm, I’ll uh, I’ll be the one to, you know, to ‘take it’. Let’s just get it over with and be done with it,” Dean partially stuttered out, feeling his face flame bright red. He couldn’t even look at Sam anymore, that’s how mortified he was by the entire thing.

 

“What the fuck? Dean! No way man! I can’t let you do that. Are you crazy? You’d probably suffer some kind of psychotic break if you… if you ‘Bottomed’. You’re like, 100% Straight,” Sam argued. He couldn’t even believe Dean was even suggesting such a thing! _Is Dean’s hero-complex just that insane that he’d actually put himself through that, just to save me? It’ll ruin him! I’m… I’m not gay, but… it won’t kill me to Bottom. Besides, I’d probably screw it up and really hurt him, by accident obviously. Dean has had way more sexual partners than I have had. I’m probably only slightly over average at skills during sex. But Dean, Dean practically has a Ph.D in having heterosexual sex. What the fuck is he thinking volunteering to Bottom. Hah – volunteering is actually not correct, it’s more like he’s again trying to decide things for me, just like Dad used to do. Well no way, no more. Dad’s dead and there’s no way I’m going to let Dean just decide the things in my life like Dad used to!_ Sam concluded firmly to himself.

 

“Doesn’t matter Sammy. It’s my responsibility to watch out for you. I’m not gonna let you down now. Seriously, let’s just get it over with quickly. Hey Cas, think you can Zap yourself to the drugstore and get us some Lube?” Dean asked.

 

“Uhh, Lube?” Castiel questioned, unfamiliar with the term.

 

“Dean! You’re seriously asking an Angel to get that for you?! We’ll get it ourselves when we’re ready. And no, we’re not just going to ‘do it’ right now! As I said, you’re like… you know, Straight. I don’t think it would be healthy for you to just jump into something like this. I’m down for doing the whole Incestuous Sex thing with you, rather than being damned for Rape if we were to do the Bestiality route, but we’re safe here. We have the Sigils on our ribs and on the walls and Cas’s here too. So, it’s not like we have to ‘do it’ right this second. I think it’d be best if we just, slowly work our way up to… ‘doing the deed’ or uh, ‘doing the sin’, I guess. And for the record, you are _not_ Bottoming. I’m Bottoming,” Sam stated with conviction.

 

“What the fuck, Sam?! Yes, I am Bottoming! And what exactly does ‘work our way up to… ‘doing it’ really mean?! How the Hell are we supposed to ‘work up to it’? Work up to what exactly? It’ll be quick! … I think – well, depending on… on how long you… ‘go for’. But, uh, I can’t imagine doing a ‘quicky’ would take you more than, what, half an hour?” Dean felt his heart begin to race and palms begin to sweat. He really didn’t know much about his brother’s sex life – only that it was nearly non-existent, minus the werewolf chick and Jessica. Kisses with the people they saved really didn’t count as a ‘sex life’.

 

Dean shot an imploring look at Cas, hoping he would talk some sense into Sam. But, Dean quickly noticed that Cas looked entirely lost. He then wondered if the Angel had any idea what they were even talking about. Would an Angel even know their Human slang terms for ‘sex’? From Cas’s blank expression, apparently not.

 

“No, you’re not,” Sam refused again, deciding that Dean would be Topping if they went forward with this. “And what I mean, is that, we sh-should, uh, well, I guess, uh, d-date. You know, work up to it slowly. Like, start with some minor stuff, then, increase, until well, ‘you know’,” Sam ended reaching up a hand to run agitatedly through his hair.

 

Dean silently disregarded Sam’s stubbornness – Dean would be Bottoming, no matter what Sam said. He would not hurt his little Sammy that way, ever. He moved on to the second issue at hand. “Slow, as in like, moving from First Base, to Second Base, Third Base, and then, uh, ‘Home’?”

 

Sam couldn’t help but let out an small laugh at Dean’s somewhat juvenile sex-terminology, “Yeah Dean, like going through the bases. In order.”

 

Dean silently contemplated Sammy’s confirming that he wanted to take things slow. In other words, Sammy’s saying that he wanted them to ‘date each other’ until actually working up to having sex. Dean weighed his options. _Ok, it’s dangerous to put off committing the 4 th Unforgivable Sin of Incest, because until that’s done, Sammy’s at risk of being used as a Vessel, and for that matter, so am I. But, I guess Sammy’s not comfortable just rushing into us having sex, which I can 100% understand. And I don’t want to do anything that hurts him. So… I guess, if he wants to take things slow. Then… ok. We’ll just have to be careful to stay away from Zach, and well, pretty much every Angel except for Cas._ _And besides, maybe working up to ‘it’ will… somehow help me too._

 

Dean wet his dry lips before answering, “Y-Yeah, ok, Sammy. If that’s what you really want. But, as much as I hate to say this, if you wanna wait, I think it’d be best if we lay low for awhile. As in… not Hunt, until we, ‘reach the finish-line’, you know? I can’t risk allowing any of those Angels getting ahold of you before then.”

 

Sam couldn’t help grin as he was filled with warmth at how much Dean cared about him. He knew that Dean loved Hunting, and for him to offer, and in fact insist that they not Hunt until they completed the 4th Unforgivable Sin, was truly selfless of Dean. Sam wondered how long though it would last before Dean was itching to go Hunting again. Probably Dean’s idea of how long they’d wait to have sex was a far shorter time period than the time period Sam was thinking of. Dean probably figured waiting days or weeks, whereas Sam was thinking waiting months. But for now, he didn’t correct his brother. “Yeah ok, sounds good man.”

 

In the ensuing silence between Sam and Dean, Castiel finally spoke up. “Er, if neither of you require my presence at this time…”

 

“Oh right, uh, we’ll holler if we need anything. And, we’ll let’cha know after we get done with the last Unforgivable,” Dean told the still perplexed-looking Angel.

 

With a pop, Castiel disappeared from the motel room, leaving an awkward feeling Sam and Den behind.

 

“Uh, well, since it looks like we’re staying in, do you want me to order a pizza?” Sam asked Dean from where he still sat back on his bed.

 

Dean hesitated for only a moment, since he really _really_ felt he deserved a pie for basically jumping on the Incest-Dating-Bandwagon with Sam, but he figured laying low was more important. “Yeah, sounds fine, just be sure to order some beers. Extra beer, very important. I’m a’gonna need it tonight.”

 

Sam just nodded his head before he reached over to the bedside telephone whose handle looked absolutely filthy. He’d be sure to wash his hands before the pizza and beer came.

 

* * *

 

Hi! I hope you liked this first part of my story! If you have any comments, I would love to hear them in a review! Please know that I always reply to reviews given for my stories, usually I reply shortly before I upload the next chapter to the story

**If you would like me to continue writing this story, please let me know! Also, what do you think of the 5 Unforgivable Sins? What do you think of Sam and Dean’s decision to date each other and work up to having sex? What do you think about Dean’s thoughts about the past where he thought of Sammy as being his son rather than just his baby brother? I look forward to hearing what you think and all of your other comments!**

 


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